Sunday, January 3, 2016

Hello 2016!

2015 has been the most life changing year for me. I became a mother. I've had a lot of roles in life: Daughter. Friend. Granddaughter. Cousin. Girlfriend. Fiance. Wife. But none of them, not one, comes close to the absolute sheer joy of being a mom. I've tried to sort out the awesomeness that comes with being a mother, but I can't. It's overwhelmingly wonderful and crazy and exhausting. Nothing I have ever experienced comes close to it.

As this year comes to close, I'm filled with an alarming sense of "time". Of how fast it passes. Of where I'm at in my life. Of the fact that thirty is approaching awfully quickly (wasn't it just yesterday that I was legally able to order wine for the first time?). And most importantly, the quality of how I spend my time. It can be a pretty terrifying feeling. One thing I have always known though is that life is short. Time is not infinite for me. At least not on this Earth.

With 2016 right around the corner I have come to realize that I need to embrace this feeling. So, without further ado, here's my 2016 List of Resolutions:

1. Center everything in my life around God. Obviously, this is not so much a resolution as something I struggle with to do on a daily basis. I also want to add in finding a church to go to as a family.

2. Make the effort to carve out time for my marriage. Spend quality, kid-free, time with my husband and not feel guilty over letting someone else keep River.

3. Have dinner at least once a week at the kitchen table as a family. Zack and I are super bad about just sitting down and eating in front of the TV. With it just being the two of us for so long, it became an easy routine to fall into. But now that River is here I think it's important that we start to establish family dinner time.

4. Have a Family Game night once a week. I LOVE board games, and unfortunately have just not made the time for them in far too long.

5. Save more money/ be aware of what our money goes to. This is a big one. I'm already pretty conscious of our finances, but I could definitely do better. My goal this year is to participate in the 365 Penny Challenge, and to make that a tradition for part of River's college fund. I also want to stop using my debit card so much and take out my extra spending money and use it as cash (that way I'm actually pulling bills out and noticing what I'm giving away).

6. Eat healthier. Okay, this one is pretty much a gimme on anyone's list, but I don't want to start eating better to look good. I want to get healthy for River. I don't want to have to worry about heart disease or blood pressure problems. So the goal right now is one small change once a week.

7. Worry less. If you know me at all, then you're probably aware of the severe anxiety I developed after giving birth to River. I tried really hard to deal with it on my own and without medications, but honestly it got to a point where that just wasn't healthy for me, and it definitely wasn't good for my relationships or my work. So for the past few weeks I have been on a low dose of Zoloft, that has worked amazingly. I feel like I'm getting back to myself and that makes me incredibly happy. I'm trying not to feel like I took the easy way out on this- because I certainly wouldn't feel that way if someone else told me they were on it. It's a work in progress. I also want to start meditating and focusing in on exercises that will help with the anxiety.

8. Stop nagging. So this one has a condition with it. My resolution is to stop nagging with the condition that my husband will actually get things done that I ask him to the first time and not ten days later lol. We're still trying to figure out a system that works without us trying to take out the other one. Right now the only workable idea that we've come up with is a "Honey-Do" list. I make a list out for the day and don't say anything else about it... unless it's like 9:00 at night at that stuff still isn't done haha.

9. Spend less time on Facebook. I'm ashamed to admit that FB probably takes up a good chunk of my day. I love private messaging my friends and checking out author's posts. Honestly, it's addictive. But keeping up with River leaves little time for much else these days, so it's time to cut back on the Facebook and focus my time on things that I really want to do (like reading) and not things that just pass the time. My aim is to check it once in the morning and once when I get home from work for no more than ten minutes each.

10. And finally (just because I'm OCD and there HAS to be an even number): recognize how I'm spending my time. I want to really focus on each moment this year. I don't want to waste a single second of my life, or my time with my family. I think I've fallen into a bit of lull this year. Being an exhausted parent is hard, but that's no excuse to be lazy with how I spend my days.

I hope everyone has a happy, healthy new year!