What I'm Loving this Week!

1. Weeds starring Mary Louise Parker. I know, I'm totally behind on this train, but this show is so hilarious and addictive. And the best part? Netflix has all the seasons. Highly recommend.

2. Wal-Mart's Scentsy knock-off cubes and room sprays. Seriously, they smell fantastic (or at least the lemon scent does) and they're half the price.

3. This Article and photo of the #followmeto guy. So romantic!

4. Snuggling up in bed with little River and watching her watch cartoons... and okay, watching them myself. River is hitting that stage where she is super alert and watching everything... especially the TV. I'm actually having to cut off the TV when I feed her so she'll eat because she gets so distracted by it (see below)!

5. Video Baby Monitors! I have just started putting River in her crib during the day to take her naps and I need to give a huge shout out to whoever thought of the idea for video baby monitors because it helps to ease this crazy Momma's anxiety by a billion!

6. Wednesday Pool Days. Okay, so my mom has a pretty sweet blow up pool in her VERY secluded back yard, and I have totally been taking advantage of it. For about two hours on Wednesdays I let little River chill with her grandmother while I go sun and read a book, nap, or just zen out. It works out perfectly because I'm actually able to FULLY relax knowing that River is just right in the house- which is amazing for me because I feel like I haven't had that feeling since River came into the world (Momma's you know what I'm talking about).

Bucket List!

1. Get a Tattoo.

2. See Starry Night in person.

3. Get married.

4. Eat a macaron in Paris.

5. Watch a silent movie.

6. Have a family.

7. See the Northern Lights in Alaska.

8. Eat Hagelslag in Holland.

9. Have a pixie cut.

10. Read all of Jane Austin.
11. Ride a train.
12. Publish a novel.
13. Attend Book Expo America
14. Visit Powell's Bookstore in Portland, Oregon.
15. Have my cards/palm read in New Orleans
16. Go on a spontaneous road trip with no clear destination in mind.
17. Have a honeymoon.
18. Actually run (and not die) a 5K marathon (specifically color run).
19.Go camping out in the "wild".
20. Visit a castle in Ireland.
21. Visit Harry Potter World

22. Join a book club.

23. Visit the Grand Canyon

24. Experience zero gravity.

25. Go skinny-dipping. (Sorry, no pictures for this one! You're welcome!)

26. Dye my hair an outrageous color.

27. Attend Comic Con

28. Have a garden.

29. Catch a fish.

30. Watch Dead Poets Society.

31. Visit the Poe Museum in Baltimore.

32. See the play A Midsummer Night's Dream

33. Have a Picnic in the park.

34. Watch the sunrise over the ocean.

35. Graduate from college

36.  Buy a house.

37. Go to London and see the play "The Cursed Child" by JK Rowling.

38. Stay at a Bed & Breakfast.

39. Build a fort with River.

40. Pay for River's college.

41. Go Stargazing in a truck full of blankets.

42. Leave notes in books at a used bookstore.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things... This Week!

1. Adore starring Robin Wright and Naomi Watts. Browsing through My (very long) List on Netflix, I found this little gem. It's bizarre, passionate, and pretty intense. I love the chemistry between all the characters, not to mention the absolute beauty of the actors. I hope I age as prettily as The Princess Bride.

2. Just One Day by Gayle Forman. I really *loved* this story. Gayle Forman has a wonderful knack for putting you in the shoes of her characters, making it impossible to leave them alone. Of course, in true Forman fashion we do get a sort of "non-ending" in this book (similar to that of If I Stay). So if you like absolute, door-slamming closure, you may want to skip this one. But you'd be missing out.

3. My new do. I'm not going to lie, this is a love/hate relationship depending on my mood. One minute I'm almost in tears over my long hair, the next I'm rejoicing over how easy and fun it is. It doesn't hurt that the hubs loves it and compliments me on it all the time. And the fact that I just whacked off all my hair does make me feel a little bit more brave. Of course, having River made me feel like a boss, so apparently I just think I'm a badass now ;) ...still don't do upside down coasters though.

4. The Pandora station called "The Mozart Effect (Children's) Radio".  It plays tons of (mostly classic rock) cover songs, but with a classical twist. Boo and I listen to it often while she plays on her play mat.

5. This picture. We both just look like a two adorable (on her part) goons.

6. This Article on Buffy.Seriously, number eighteen. Oz & Willow. But I pretty much teared up all the way through it.

7. That new Netflix show called Between. Could Netflix be any cooler?

8. The moment the hubs humored me and danced with me last Saturday to "In My Life" by the Beatles because it's one of my all time favorite songs. It was a little awkward considering he's a 6'2 giant while I'm just 5'2, but super sweet because I had wanted it to be the song we danced to at OUR wedding, but was unable to because (a) I forgot the music and (b) our reception "hall" was way too small to dance in.

9. And finally, the fact that River has quite possibly got the hang of sleeping through the entire night! I mean, she still tries to wake up at 5:00 am, but me and her pacifier shut that down pretty quick... at least until 6:30.

Seven Things I've Learned So Far About Being A Mom For Seven Weeks.

1. Being a mom is weirdly wonderful. You're utterly exhausted (I'm talking can't-hold-your-eyes-open-during-work-hardly-bone-tired), but you have NEVER been happier in your entire life.

2. Despite the fact that I would probably slay a demon to take a real nap, I still smile and laugh when River decides that 4:00 am is a good time to giggle and wake up for the day.

3. I finally understand selfless love. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband with my whole heart and I know he feels that way about me too, but after birthing River I found another level of that love so intense and deep that I am just blown away by it daily.

4. I don't mind that my husband frequently kisses and cuddles with another girl every single day. Watching Zack bond with, and take care of, our daughter fills my heart with even more love for him. We've always been great together, but having a baby has brought us even closer. We also appreciate each other so much more than we did in the past, because we're a team and we know the only way to get through this is together.

5. For what is probably the first time ever in my life, I'm *proud* of my body. I'm proud of what I endured, and that my body helped to give life to this amazing human being. I feel so much stronger knowing that I went through giving birth. 

6. My goals and dreams didn't go away, if anything they became more intense. I was terrified that being a mom meant that I was going to lose myself. I was thrilled to be pregnant, but I was scared of never being me again. But the truth is, I'm still the same person. I'm still a huge geek. I still want the same things that I wanted before, but even more so now because I want my daughter to know that her mother reached her goals and that she didn't settle. 

7. "Mothering Instincts" are real. I thought it was just a myth, but I promise you, I know better than anyone else what River wants and what she needs. It's a scary thing because I know that on down the road I will have to let go of these instincts, or at least loosen up on them, so River can be her own person. But for now, she needs me and my instincts and I will absolutely cherish these early days for the rest of my life.

"Dorothy Must Die" by Danielle Paige

Series: Dorothy Must Die #1
Genre: YA Fantasy/ Retellings
Format: Kindle
Publication: April 2014 by Harper Collins
Cover Rating: 3/5 Stars

Links: Goodreads, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Book Depo,

From Goodreads: I didn't ask for any of this. I didn't ask to be some kind of hero.

But when your whole life gets swept up by a tornado - taking you with it - you have no choice but to go along, you know?

Sure, I've read the books. I've seen the movies. I know the song about the rainbow and the happy little bluebirds. But I never expected Oz to look like this. To be a place where Good Witches can't be trusted, Wicked Witches may just be the good guys, and winged monkeys can be executed for acts of rebellion. There's still a yellow brick road - but even that's crumbling.

What happened? Dorothy.

They say she found a way to come back to Oz. They say she seized power and the power went to her head. And now no one is safe.

My name is Amy Gumm - and I'm the other girl from Kansas.

I've been recruited by the Revolutionary Order of the Wicked.

I've been trained to fight.

And I have a mission.


My Thoughts: Dorothy Must Die has to be my least favorite fairytale retelling that I have ever read, and I had such high hopes for it to. I mean, just look at that cover! This book was designed to lure you in with a cover like that! But alas, I feel victim once again to my cover lust.

So, here's my issues with DMD:

1. Pacing- While this novel started off VERY strong, it quickly got boring fast... and slightly confusing. The story seemed to drag on and on, without bothering to really explain certain important plot elements. By the time I was half-way through, I was already wanting it to just be over with.

2. Characters- While our MC, Amy Gumm is pretty rad and awesome, the rest of the stories characters are FLAT and lame. I didn't feel any kind of connection or love for any of the side characters, or their relationship to Amy. Even Dorothy herself was just plain boring. And don't even get me started on the love interest, Nox (I could seriously punch myself in the face trying to get through reading scenes with him).

3. Immature writing, but with adult language- This was the real kicker for me. The story read for a young audience (think 14 and younger), but it felt like the author changed her mind by dropping the F-Bomb randomly throughout the story to "adult it up", which just came off as silly.

Bottom Line: I won't be recommending this one.

My Rating: 2/5 Stars

Breaking "The" Rules

When I was pregnant I had a certain mind set of how life with baby was going to be. There were going to be things that I just knew I would not compromise on. For example:

1. She was going to be strictly breastfeed for at least six months.

2. No sleeping with the us IN the bed or on her stomach.

3. No "spoiling" her by constant holding (by myself or family members).

4. No pacifiers

The list could go on and on. However, I can now humbly say that I honestly had no idea what I was talking about. I thought that by reading all these articles, blogs, and baby books that I was prepared for my little River. HA! While yes, I was "prepared" for her to some extent, I most certainly wasn't prepared for how exhausting a newborn baby can be, and how by the second week you're willing to do just about anything to get her little butt to sleep for at least four hours straight during the night.

Well, here we are almost into week three and I have successfully broken all (probably) of my rules.

1. Breastfeeding went out the window in the first week.

2. By week two, River was taking naps on her tummy (although I still put her on her back at night just to be safe). I'm also guilty of letting her catnap with me in the bed during the day.

3. Have YOU ever tried to tell a new grandma to put the baby down so she won't be spoiled? Or would you rather keep your mouth shut (like me) and tip toe quietly into your bedroom so you can get some quick shut eye while she's fawning over your little love? Yeah, that's what I thought.

4. Psh. Second night into the world, River had a binkie in her mouth and I haven't looked back since.

Like I said, every new mommy rule I had made pre-birth has been broken or proven to be obsolete for us. And the real kicker? I don't feel guilty or bad over it. Because I'm finding out that only you as their parent truly knows what's best for your baby. Does this mean I don't take advice? Heck no. I constantly ask my own mother a million questions a day. But I pick and choose what I want to follow or what I think will work best for us. 

And with letting go of all of my "rules" I've become more relaxed and able to just enjoy being a new mom. Because that's really what it's supposed to be about right now- simply soaking up every ounce of time I get to spend with her and love on her. I'll never get this time back, so why waste it on a rigid schedule and crazy ideas that don't really work for us anyway?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a little munchkin to cuddle up with and read to.

Being a New Mom: Formula, Insomnia, and Baby Blues!

Well, River (and my husband and I for that matter) have survived the first two weeks of her coming into the world!

It's been an amazing two weeks. I'm so in love with her, and the more time that passes, the more comfortable I feel in my new role as a Mom. In fact, I don't think I have ever felt more comfortable in any role in my entire life as I do with this one. After the first week, something inside of me just snapped into place that made me realize I was going to be awesome at this. Hopefully ;)

But, there has definitely been some surprises and melt-downs (because I'm not a cyborg and every new parent out there is entitled to MULTIPLE melt-downs). First off, there was the whole breast-feeding fiasco. Pre-birth I was so "devoted" to breast-feeding. There was no way my sweet baby was going on formula. Period. Because everyone knows breast is best, right? Well, turns out it wasn't right for us. River had the worst time latching on for several different reasons. The second night in the hospital that she was screaming crying (and not sleeping), I caved and asked for a bottle. I was completely torn because I did not want to go to formula, but at the same time, my baby was hungry and I felt like she needed to eat. It was the first time I threw out the "rules" and went with my mommy instinct. And guess what? She slept peacefully for a good four + solid hours. When we came home, I was still trying to breast-feed, but after a few days (of constant crying and not sleeping) it just got to the point where I was an emotional mess. I was still trying to recover from giving birth and having some major baby blues, top all that off with being the only source of food for a newborn and I just crashed into major stress land. Finally, I decided that breast was not best for either of us. She could tell that I was a basket case and it was causing her tension. When I switched over to formula completely, things became so much simpler for us. She slept ten times better because she was actually getting enough food. Not only that, but my husband could now split feedings with me so that I could get some rest and be a better parent for her, and he got to bond with her over feedings (because there is nothing more sweet than your baby looking up into your eyes when your feeding them). Of course, I still felt some mommy guilt over it (how could I not when almost everyone out there talks about how amazing breast-feeding is for your baby), but in the end I realized that the only two people who knew what was best for River ultimately was my husband and me. After that, things got better.

Being sleep deprived was another challenge for us, but at least that one was expected. In all honesty though, I think we kind of lucked out on this one- at least for now. From day one of bringing her home we set River into a bedtime routine. Around 9:40 she gets a bath (or in the beginning a sponge bath), gets a bottle, and then we all snuggle up in bed to read a story. After that she gets swaddled up and placed in her bassinet (complete with ocean sounds blasting) beside the bed by 11:00 pm and is asleep until 2:00 or 3:00 am. Zack gets up for these middle of the night feedings where he changes her diaper, gives her a bottle, and then puts her straight back to bed. She's not up again until 6:30 am. I mean, don't get me wrong, I miss having a full nights sleep, but at this point I'm not jumping up at every little noise she makes anymore, and I feel like I'm getting enough rest to function during the day.

Despite going on formula, the sleep deprivation, and of course, the baby blues, things have been wonderful for us. It's amazing to see River growing every day and I have never felt more empowered in my life. I gave birth to this beautiful human being who is growing into a real person. It's mind blowing.

This coming up week though, I hope to be able to actually go out on a date with my husband and leave River with one of her grandparents for a few hours. I don't know if it's going to happen or not, because I'm still struggling with the idea of not being with her 24/7, but I know it needs to happen. And, it would be really nice for the hubs and I to have a date night and reward ourselves for bringing our awesome little human into the world.