Week Thirty-Eight!

Latest Doctor Visit: Unfortunately did not go the way I wanted. First of all, my patience at this point is non-existent (in case it wasn't obvious if you've been around me). Well, after waiting for almost two hours in the waiting room (with a TON of annoying people) I was *finally* called back into a room... that was burning up. After another hour of waiting and not seeing the doctor, I finally got fed up and went outside to see what the hold up was. Turns out, she was next door at the hospital delivering a baby. Pretty legit excuse, but it still pissed me off that we weren't told that in the beginning (normally, when this happens we're told to go grab lunch and come back). So after being one of "those" patients and making a bit of a fuss, the lovely mid-wife came in (who I really do love and have learned a lot from). She examined me and proclaimed me to be 75% effaced and a whopping total of ONE cm dilated. Yeah. As in ONE. As in ONLY FREAKING ONE, "but a loose one"! She also said River's head is at a -2 Station and her heartbeat is 135 (which is lower then what it has been, but she assured me it's fine).

 So, it's all progress, just not as much as I hoped for. I think the main thing that I need to do is stay positive and relax and realize that River will get here wen she gets here. My big concern with going over-due is her size since she's been measuring big, but since all of that is questionable anyway I should probably just chill the heck out.

Super funny story though: while the mid-wife was talking to us about natural induction (walking, sex, nipple stimulation), my grandmothers eyes got very big. When we got in the car, she asked me if she heard right that sex was now used to induce labor. So awkward, but hilarious! Turns out, back in the day when she had my mom they were explicitly told NOT to have sex during late pregnancy! It's so bizarre to think of how much we know now about childbirth compared to just 50 years ago.

Guesstimates on Due Date:
MamaB: March 4th Sorry Great-MamaB! She said she wasn't feeling my birthday after all!
Zack/Hubs/Soon to be Dad: March 12th
Nola (River's Cousin): March 13th (Because it's Friday the 13th)
Patricia (friend/ co-worker): March 14th
Ashley (River's "Aunt"): March 15th
Me and My Mom (River's Mawmaw): March 16th (original due date and my own dad's birthday)
Nanny (River's Great-Grandmother): March 20th

How I'm Feeling: I feel like a kid,sitting in the backseat of a car on the longest road trip of my life, and continuously asking everyone "Are we there yet?!" And every time I get told "No", I just want to have a melt down.

On the one hand, I am SO, SO excited that my due date is right around the corner and that I am *this* close to meeting our daughter. It still seems surreal that she's almost here where I can hold her and cuddle with her and love on her.

On the other hand, I am super impatient and the longer I wait, the more these small doubts and freak-outs creep into my mind about the whole labor and delivery process. Which is weird, because up until a few weeks ago, I was pretty calm about the whole thing. I'm still confident in myself and I know I got this, but the more the days drag out, the more this evil little voice inside my head tries to convince me that maybe I shouldn't be so confident. That maybe something might go wrong. This is probably pretty normal for every new mom out there, and the main thing I'm trying to do right now is just to stay away from scary internet articles and stories. Also, hubs totally helps by snuggling with me when my freak-outs get too bad.

Then you add in the lovely discomforts of third-trimester pregnancy and it just equals out to one pyscho me. I don't think I have ever appreciated my own mom more then I do now. You just have no idea what your mothers go through during pregnancy until you actually experience it. I will say this though, for all my complaining and whining, it's not as bad as a lot of the movies portray it to be. It's amazing and wonderful.... and yes, super uncomfortable and nerve-wrecking, but it's absolutely nothing you can't handle.

Movement: Right now, it feels like River's whole body is taking up my entire torso. She moves her head and arms, and I can feel it low in my pelvis. She has the hiccups and my whole belly jumps. She kicks and it feels like she's taking out my sternum. Still, I have never been so grateful for those weird, sometimes painful, movements. It's the only thing that really reassures me that she's okay.

Random Updates: Last week I gave my boss notice that I am fairly certain March 17th is going to be my last day at work before the baby comes (unless I get super lucky and she comes before- come on River!). I still may change my mind about this depending on how I feel, but right now it's just taking everything out of me to walk around. And, it would be nice to have my last real down time for myself before River gets here- because I know that once she's here it's going to be a LONG time before that happens again.

Baby Book: My sweet mom, River's Mawmaw (as she wants to be called), got us a baby book! I've been wanting one forever now, but for some reason just never got around to buying one. It's pretty simple and standard, but I love it. Zack and I spent Saturday morning filling some of it out together, which was super fun. I wanted to make sure he wrote it in as well, since I absolutely cherish my own baby book because my dad wrote it and I have so few things that are his. I then stuffed it into our hospital bag so we can get River's foot prints and hand prints in it when she's born (hopefully they won't mind doing this).