"The Return" by Jennifer L. Armentrout

Series: Titan #1
Genre: New Adult Paranormal Romance
Format: Kindle
Publication: February 16, 2015 by Spencer Hill Press
Cover Rating: 5/5 Stars

From Goodreads: The Fates are cackling their bony asses off... 

It's been a year since Seth made the deal with the gods that pledged his life to them. And so far, the jobs they've given him have been violent and bloody--which is kind of all right with him. But now Apollo has something else in mind for Seth. He's got to play protector while keeping his hands and fingers off, and for someone who really has a problem with restraint, this new assignment might be the most challenging yet. 

Josie has no idea what this crazy hot guy's deal might be, but it's a good bet that his arrival means the new life she started after leaving home is about to be thrown into an Olympian-sized blender turned up to puree. Either Josie is going insane or a nightmare straight out of ancient myth is gunning for her. 

But it might be the unlikely attraction simmering between her and the golden-eyed, secret-keeping Seth that may prove to be the most dangerous thing of all. 

Because history has once again been flipped to repeat.


My Thoughts: First of all I just want to say that I *love* JLA. She's an awesome writer and I will gladly devour anything she writes. I was also crazy in love with Seth while reading The Covenant series. So, believe me when I tell you that I can't believe I'm about to say what I'm about to say.

I wasn't crazy about The Return. I actually got bored with it. Now here's the thing, I'm pretty sure my pregnancy is messing with my reading personality, so I have no problem saying that you can take this review with a grain of salt, because if I wasn't pregnant, I might would have been raving about it. As it is though, I just didn't like it.

Here's my issues. This is definitely beyond a doubt, a New Adult book, which would be fine, except it has heavy emphasis on the sexy time and less chemistry between the main characters. It felt fluffy, with none of the fun plot The Covenant series possessed. I'll be honest and say that J.Lynn is not my favorite New Adult author, but she writes amazing YA books. I feel like she focuses too much on the smexy romance in her NA, and less on the story behind it. The same goes for this book unfortunately. I honestly think I would have loved it had she cut back on the forced romance and just gave us the same roller-coaster twists and turns as her other YA plots have.

My Rating: 2.5 Stars

Week Thirty-Six.

Latest Doctor Visit: We had another ultrasound to check on River's growth, and she is weighing a whopping 8 pounds and six ounces! IF we go by measurements that puts me a 39 weeks and changed my due date to March 1st... this Sunday. However, the doctor says we are still keeping the due date for March 24, but that she probably will come early. As of right now, I'm not dilated at all, but I am 50% effaced. My doctor also tried to reassure me (in a somewhat strange way) that I had a great pelvis and should be fine to deliver a big baby if that's what she happens to be. I'm not gonna lie, it totally made me feel better because I had been freaking out a little over birthing my little Frost Giant. Who knew someone complimenting your pelvis could make you feel better, but pregnancy is weird so whatever.

Recent Shopping Trip: Zack and I went on what is hopefully the last big shopping spree before chunky monkey gets here. We bought her a super cute Polar Bear humidifier, a breastfeeding cover (which I'm still debating on if I'll use or not), and some outfits to carry with us to the hospital. Not to mention the oh so cute hot pink ruffle bottoms :)

Hospital Bag: Hubs and I both had a bit of a long weekend and decided it was time to start packing up our hospital bag. Since they're guessing River is going to be a bit of a big baby, I decided to pack more outfits then what I originally had planned (newborn sizes and then some slightly bigger 0-3 months sizes just in case). Along with that we have her cute owl Boppy, swaddlers, and pacifier. I'm also packing my breast pump just in case.

How I'm Feeling: You remember a few weeks ago when I was all "Yeah, I've been so lucky because I've had a great pregnancy so far!"...well, I'm not taking that back (it *has* been a good pregnancy), but my goodness I'm done with this third trimester and ready for our little River to be here. Sleep at this point is non-existence between restless leg syndrome and cramps- and for the love of all that is holy please do not tell me how I better enjoy my sleep now unless you want to be throat punched.

Speaking of throat punching... since I'm pretty uncomfortable I haven't exactly been Miss Sunshine lately, but I'm trying really hard not to go all Exorcist on everyone. And then there's the crying and the worrying over something going wrong in delivery. Basically, I'm something of a *small* mess, but I have a great husband who's been getting me through it.

Most Researched Topic this Week: This kind of goes along with me being an emotional mess. This week, I decided to research two serious topics just so I could be prepared: C-Sections and SIDS. After a solid week of hearing me worry and tear up, hubs finally put his foot down and threatened to cancel the internet if I didn't stop freaking myself out. On the positive side though, the research on C-Sections did help me not to be so terrified of the possibility. Every experience I read on it didn't sound too horrible and having a better knowledge of what to expect if that happens made me feel more confident with it. Of course, I'm still hoping to go the other route, but if it happens it happens.

Movement: While River doesn't kick as much as she did in the second trimester, she's still in their moving around like crazy. It's not unusual these days to see my belly jump or to see her little body across it. She also gets the hiccups a lot too. This is definitely going to be one thing I will miss about being pregnant. I love getting to feel her move around and knowing that she's okay.

Missing:Wine. Seafood. And Sleep. Seriously, as soon as I get done breastfeeding I will be going out to buy a big bottle of red wine. You really don't realize what your mom all gave up for you until you think about the fact that she went without alcohol for over a year. 

Cravings: Chicken.

Most Coveted Baby Item of the Week: River. Seriously, at this point there's nothing I want more then to go into labor and hold her.

Week Thirty-Five (Technically. I guess).

Latest Doctor Visit: Today's visit went by fairly quick with just the basic measuring and listening to River's heartbeat (156). Everything is still going good, but I did express my concerns (okay, freak outs) over River being a Frost Giant. The conversation went something like this:

Doctor: "How are you doing?"
Me: "Good.. you know, just freaking out that I'm going to have the 14 pound baby."
Doctor: "You've been on the internet, haven't you?"
Me: "Maybe."

Then she did a whole bunch of reassuring that River was fine, I was fine, and 14 pound babies were not normal, or something that will happen when under prenatal care. We did schedule another ultrasound for Monday just to check on growth, but she stressed that I should not have a meltdown if River is measuring big. She told me (once again) that the US are notorious for being off in the third trimester.

Nursery Update: Nursery is *finally* finished! Zack and I spent the entire weekend getting her room together, and it was so worth the exhaustion. I absolutely love it, although I will probably add more furniture later as it looks a little bare right now, despite all the goodies she has already.

Baby Shower: I seriously think we had the most awesome baby shower ever. SO MANY PEOPLE SHOWED UP! We had a cake to feed 70, and almost all of it was eaten except for a few pieces (which I then took home and ate). We're so blessed to have such an amazing family! We also pretty much received almost everything we needed, and no doubles of anything! We had so many presents to open, that I actually felt exhausted halfway through and was so glad I had decided to have the Hubs there to help me out. It made the whole experience so much more memorable listening to his explanation of the gifts- "And it's a... frilly, shirt thingy!"

How I'm Feeling: Honestly, I'm getting miserable. I waddle. I constantly have an elbow or knee digging into me from the inside. I pee ALL THE TIME. I can't sleep because I'm so stiff from having to lay on one side or another. I'm too exhausted to clean the house which really needs to be done. Oh, and the restless leg syndrome paired with the leg cramps has been really fantastic. Basically, I'm ready to go into labor and have her today. 

Cravings: Milk. Milk. Milk.

Most Coveted Baby Item of the Week: I honestly can't think of one thing right now that we need and haven't got. From now on, I'll just be stocking up on basic baby goods, like diapers, wipes, and baby wash.

January 2015 Wrap Up

Book Updates:

Challenges:

Goodreads Challenge: 

Seven out of Twenty-Five Books Read

Book Riot Read Harder Challenge: 

1. A Book Written by Someone Under the Age of 25: Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi

2. A YA Novel- Sweet Evil by Wendy Higgins
3. A Book that is a Retelling of a Classic Story- "Masque of the Red Death" by Bethany Griffin

Favorite Book of the Month:
"Ignite Me" by Tahereh Mafi- Such a good series, but this is by far the best book in the trilogy! I'm so sad that I waited so long to read it!

River Updates:

*Nursery is painted and floored, and will hopefully be finished by next week.
*One hospital stay for only two hours for blood pressure.
*Lots of baby movement. My belly is constantly moving and jumping.
*Last ultra-sound showed River at 6 lbs- but they're notorious for being wrong.
*She is now in position with head down and facing toward my back.
*Doctor visits are weekly.

Week Thirty-Two... OR Thirty-Six!

Major Update: So, baby River gave her daddy and me a huge scare Wednesday! We had what was supposed to be our last ultra-sound, when we found out she was measuring FOUR WEEKS AHEAD OF SCHEDULE! Weighing in at a whopping six pounds already, they also told us that she is in position and is going to be very tall (thanks to the freakishly tall hubs on this one). However, my doctor tried to reassure me by telling me that ultrasounds are notorious for being off a pound or two, so who knows. On top of all of this, my blood pressure sky rocketed to 159/96. They then admitted me to the hospital to be monitored. I'm not going to lie, I was terrified. Not only for me, but for River as well. I thought I was pretty prepared for the whole hospital stay... turns out not so much. It's just scary when you're doctor tells you that you have to go in and everything is out of your hands. But I'm lucky, I only spent about two hours in there watching Supernatural and laughing with my amazing husband (seriously, this guy deserves a trophy for best husband/ dad), mom, and MamaB when it promptly went down and back to normal. I'm pretty sure this was just an abnormal incident from unnecessary stress that had been thrown my way and not something I really need to be worried about. Also, my doctor appointments will now be moved to every week instead of every two weeks, and I am supposed to be keeping a close eye on the BP when I can. Hopefully she'll be able to tell me more about what's going on with River and her due date when I go back next week since they were mainly just concerned this time with my BP.

How I'm Feeling: Good... a little bit freaked out that River maybe making her entrance early, because there's still *so* much to do, but I'm trying to stay calm! As long as she's healthy though, I'm good! I think the biggest things I need to do at this point is to go ahead and get our hospital bags ready, and stock up on some stuff here, but I was hoping I could at least hold off on the stocking up of diapers until *after* the baby shower.

My blood pressure has also been fluctuating since Wednesday, but I'm trying my best to keep it down and just relax. I think once I get the nursery completely finished, I may stop freaking out. Maybe.

Cravings: Burgers and Shakes!

Bottom Line: From my understanding RIGHT now, River can basically come at any time from now until the end of February to her due date in March (although it's highly unlikely that she will wait that long, or that my body will be able to carry her for that long if she continues to grow so fast... seriously, Momma can't cart a 14 pound baby, my bladder just couldn't handle it).

Most Coveted Baby Item of the Week:
Diapers. Wipes. And Baby Meds!

A Letter to Future River.

River,

It's so bizarre to think of you as an actual "person" and not just some little, but adorable, munchkin growing inside of me. However, I know one day you're going to be some angsty, fourteen year old who carries the world on her shoulders (because let's face it, we all go through that). I also know that when that time comes around I may not be the "open-minded", hip mom that I hope to be. Because I'll be older and sometimes when you grow up you forget what it's like to be young and have everything be so new.

I hope that never happens. I hope that I will always be able to relate to you and that I will remember to sometimes give you a break when you mess up because being a teenager (mostly) sucks and it's hard. But just in case I don't, or just in case you think your parents are "like, the lamest people to ever walk the planet", there's a few things I want you to know before I get too old and forget them:

1. David Bowie, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Fleetwood Mac, Joni Mitchell, The Avett Brothers, Bob Dylan, The Smiths, The Cure, REM, Pixies, and Smashing Pumpkins. Play them. They'll help you get you through all the craptastic days.

2. Read. Read everything and anything you can get your hands on. Question the world around you by opening up your mind to different worlds and ways of living by reading. Before you can even really become a teenager you have to read "The Outsiders" (it's like a right of passage for every kid out there to know that "nothing gold can stay"). Also, read plenty of John Green. Because he's amazing too. And "Perks of Being a Wallflower". Because Charlie is such an awesome book friend to have.

3. Remember that sometimes people leave. Sometimes they get taken away from us, and sometimes they walk out on their own, but at some point, someone you love will be gone. When that happens, breathe through the pain. Feel every inch of it, but don't let it consume you, even though it may feel like you will never be able to breathe right again. Take loss for what it is: something you can't change, but that you can learn from. Learn from every bad experience. Take something bad always and find the silver lining it, because I promise, there will be one, even if it's hidden deep. And if someone is taken from you, remember the love they had for you. Hold on to it and realize that as long as you have that, they're never really gone.

4. Never be afraid to be yourself. Never let anyone make you feel ashamed of loving something/ someone. You are amazing. You are wonderfully made. You are the greatest joy in my life no matter what. Don't try to fit in to make life easier, because you can't. At fourteen, no one fits in. We're all weird and goofy, and it's amazing because that just means we're all different and can learn from each other. Embrace being different.

5. This Article on Stand By Me.

6. Remember your namesakes: River Song, Tam, and Phoenix. The first two were (although fictional) amazingly strong women who could hold their own in life. Phoenix was amazingly creative and beautiful (but totally made bad decisions on drugs- don't do drugs).

7. Never put your dreams and goals before anyone. Explore everything. Fall in love often. Dream big- bigger than big. You can do anything, as long as you put the effort into it. Life is too short not to get out of it everything you could possibly want.

8. Never forget that I love you. I loved you from the moment I first found out that I was carrying you. You became my whole world instantly. I know I'm going to eventually screw up in the parenting department at some point, because we all do (I sincerely pray it's a little screw-up and not a big one). I know that I'm not going to be perfect at this. There will be (heartbreaking) days when you will probably think you hate me. Try to remember that your poor mom is simply blinded by this insane amount of love she has for you if I get too controlling. And I promise, I'll try really hard when the time comes to learn when to let you have a breather and to let you grow. 

Week Thirty-One!

How I'm Feeling: Uncomfortable! Backaches + Pelvic Pain is terrible.

Nursery Update: The Nursery is coming along! Zack and I spent part of the weekend going through her clothes and hanging up what we could, the rest of it is just neatly stacked in her closet for now until we get all of her furniture in!

Baby Shower Update: I have a lot of sweet people asking me what we need. I've been incredibly lucky to have such a great family (who just happened to have all had babies in the past few years) that have already given me tons of stuff. So, here's just a quick run down of somethings that I can think of at the top of my head that we don't have and need;

Small Stuff:
*Baby Gates (2)
*Baby Towels and Washcloths
*Diapers (varying sizes)
*Wipes
*Any Johnson Baby Products (Soaps, Lotions, Etc)
*Burp Cloths
*Nursing Pads
*Medela Bottles
*Medela Breast Milk Storage Bag
*Baby Hangers
*Memory/ Baby Book
*Diaper Genie Refills
*Mattress Sheets (White, Pink, Gray)
*Clothes
*Swaddlers
*Car Window Shield
*Mattress Pads
*Pacifier clip holders
*Baby Medicines

Bigger Stuff:
*Rock N Play
*Nursing Cover(s)
*Boppy
*Baby Bath
*Diaper Genie
*Humidifier
*Baby Monitor
*White Crib
*White Changing Table
*White Dresser

Cravings: The other night I woke up with a crazy insane craving for blackberry cobbler and a cold glass of milk... luckily my MamaB is awesome and took me to get some for lunch :)

Most Coveted Baby Item of the Week: A pedicure. Seriously, I can't do my own toes right now, and I would just love for someone to paint them cute and massage my swollen cankles!